Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
