Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Your penis caused this!
Randomize