So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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