You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
