and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
we're so committed to being not committed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
