Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
