Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize