You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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