I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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