Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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