meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
