dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
