Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
