More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
