how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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