I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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