Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize