spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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