what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
