Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
