we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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