I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
