Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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