So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
