i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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