Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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