did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my being single is dangerous.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
