I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
