I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize