Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
