I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pants are for mortals
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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