We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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