I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
