I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
