did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
