i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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