I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
