after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
