The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
