It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
