So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
