So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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