dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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