tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
