all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
