At least make sure they are 18
Why
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize