You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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