My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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