he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
