I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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