return my video game
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
