somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize