Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
