Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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