I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
