I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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