Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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