I'm lost and stupid without you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
