i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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