i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
