i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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