That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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