My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
