my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
