do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize