he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
