I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
