did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
