I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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