when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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