Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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