We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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