I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
