Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
